Cautious prudence or paranoid surveillance?

It's certain, one does not give out their trust immediately to anyone at the beginning of the relationship. And yet you know that a nanny/parent relationship can't function if you are suspicious.

So whenever possible, try to avoid surveillance, and instead create a climate of trust, which will benefit the nanny, parents, and especially your child who will feel safe.

Trusting... it's not easy!

It's hard, very hard to trust your child with someone else... no doubt it will take some time to get used to it and starting truly trusting this new person.

Here are some examples:

I'm sure the nanny doesn't put enough talcum powder on his behind.

It's not a fear, it's simply an issue to discuss with your nanny. Go on!

My nanny is too attached to my child and she is manipulating him so he won't love me anymore.

This is often jealousy, a little unhealthy but actually quite natural.

I can feel it, my nanny belongs to a terrorist group.

Sorry, you're just paranoid!  

Establishing trust with your nanny, it's possible!!

It's indispensable because if you do not trust your nanny, your child will not either. In summary: you must allow time to take its course.

But "trust" doesn't exclude "control"

It's not because you trust your nanny, you must let go of forms of all control. It is normal and desirable to perform small occasional checks that will allow you, at the beginning of the care, to verify that all is well, and after some time to check that there was no downward spiral in your absence.

Find the middle ground

I would like to be a little mouse and see everything that happens so as not to miss a thing.

It's curiosity, and it's normal!

I will ask my friends how my nanny acts with my children at the park.

 That's surveillance, and it's also normal, especially at the beginning.

Every day I hide in a bush in the park for 20 minutes to check if my nanny gives them their snack properly.

You're being excessive; learn how to trust.  

I'm going to install microphones and a camera.

It's policing and an invasion of privacy of the nanny. It rules out confidence. You might consider this solution in very specific case only.

On the way to trust..

And if you take time to learn more about your nanny? A regular chat (around a glass of wine?), to talk about the care, but also about her, and you? It's easier to trust somewhat who you actually know...

Observe your child's behavior, make him recount his day. If all goes well, why be too suspicious?

And do not hesitate to tell your nanny what worries you and tell her that you trust her. She will also place more trust in you... trust is mutual!