Facilitating the first separation between parents and child(ren).

You spent months glued to your child, and now you're returning to work: it is the beginning of childcare with the nanny. How not to fear this separation, and upheaval in your child's habits?
Well, in providing the best of all possible adaptations!

An adaptation, yes, but for whom?  

Yes, of course, adaptation, it's for your child. He or she will have to get used to the nanny, her voice, her games, her cooking ... and your absence. It is known that around eight months, the child has more difficulty with the separation. So, if at all possible, try to arrange it earlier (it will be much easier with a baby!) or later.

It is also for the nanny, who will have be familiarize herself with your child, but also with your home, your habits...

But it is especially for you, parents, torn between the need to go to work, the relief of having a bit of freedom, the guilt to "give up" your little one, and the fear of leaving him with an unknown (or almost). It is normal to feel all that!

An arrangement "made-to-fit" for the child, the nanny and the parents

The important thing is to arrange an schedule in advance with the nanny that works for everyone. Ideally the adaptation happens immediately before you return to work, and with you (if you send his stepmother in your place, it won't be very helpful!).

Adaptation is also an opportunity to make adjustments in your habits and your requirements.

An adaptation of how many days?

Five days seems to be a good average. And straddling the adaptation period over two weeks will allow you to test things after the weekend break.

Example timetable

The idea is to proceed gradually, for example:

• the first day, stay with your child.
• the second day, stay an hour, then leave a few hours (and no housework allowed... on the agenda, a movie, or  a manicure! ☺).
• the third day you spend less time at home and the nanny puts him down for his nap.
• the fourth day, you hardly stay at all, and your baby takes his nap and meals with the nanny.
• and the fifth day, the test to see if the adaptation has gone well.

Annie at PhD in Parenting offers her advice for a gentle transition period, especially for enfants.